when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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