We won't sleep together?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Someone signed my nipple.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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