Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
