fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
