Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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