she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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