Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
