Just mADE A PArabola og urine
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
