i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
