no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
then he tried to convert me to islam
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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