Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
