no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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