I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
