It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
