Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
