Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
