true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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