there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
