I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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