Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
