one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
