What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
