party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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