i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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