I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
