My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
