Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
