i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
