are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
