her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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