Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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