everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
