at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
