I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
