Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize