bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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