yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
