So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
God, I missed his penis.
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