I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dick very happy bro
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize