The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
