The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
nutella sex= disaster
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
