What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
