Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
