Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize