its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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