Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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