i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize