I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
