People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
