we should wear snuggies to the strip club
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
