she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
