so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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