I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My life is pants optional.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The air taste purple.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
