I can't breathe out the right side of my face
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
