We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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