My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
