You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So apparently I’m into choking now
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
