Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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