i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
