Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
