remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
